Utilizing Halloween & Dia de los Muertos (Day of The Dead) to help cope with loss
Halloween is truly more than just a time to dress up, carve pumpkins, eat candy, and be scared...
Halloween and Day of the Dead are two holidays that take place during this “spooky season”, that I would like to highlight. Halloween is the most popular in our culture and has borrowed various traditions of old to make up one spooktacular night. Though this holiday has now been dramatically commercialized, this was not always so. Halloween is truly more than just a time to dress-up, carve pumpkins, eat candy, and be scared.
Halloween was originally a sacred time of the year in many cultures and religions. It originated from Samhain, the Celtic “festival of the dead”, in which ancients honored those who had passed, protected themselves from negative entities, and ushered in the darker half of the year. It was believed that the veil which divided the spiritual and physical planes was at its thinnest during this time, allowing the living and the spirits of the dead to pass between realms.
On this Day of the Dead, we celebrate the memories of those we have lost and the love that still surrounds us.
Another common celebration during this time that incorporates some of the original traditions of the season is Día de los Muertos or “Day of the Dead”, a primarily Mexican celebration, held on November 1-2 to honor the souls that have passed on. During this time, souls are said to visit their earthly families.
Many of the old traditions have been adopted and tweaked to fit into our modern society. Strangely, while people have glamorized and become openly accepting of the idea of mass murder and typically over-indulge in horror flicks and candy during this holiday, most consider traditions of honoring the dead and passed loved ones to be taboo or “witchcraft”.
That is not to take away from the fun of the holiday or of being spooky. Rather, it is stated merely to point out the idea that incorporating some fragments of various older traditions, really does not have to be considered so taboo. In fact, they can actually be a fantastic way to cope with loss. There are many traditions that you can incorporate into your Halloween celebrations to honor your loved ones and help with grieving.
Oftentimes, we tend to try to avoid our feelings and emotions about our loved ones after they are gone. However, ignoring our pain only prolongs our suffering and causes disconnect on a soul level. Coping with a loved one’s absence is not forgetting them or simply not thinking of them, it’s focusing on the fond memories and the good times you shared with them.
Considering the traditions of old, here are some ways to remember your loved ones this Halloween:
Set aside a special place in your home for remembrance. Simply selecting a small table or shelf is sufficient. Place photos, flowers, and anything significant to your loved ones in this space.
Light incense and candles. Choose a scent that they loved. Think of them, pray, and meditate.
Make and serve their favorite foods, candies, or snacks.
Play music that they loved.
Talk about good memories and special times. Take out the photo albums and reminisce.
Visit your beloved’s grave sites and pay respect with flowers.
Don’t forget to laugh. Make this a happy time much like a wake. Celebrate the fact that they were alive and how special their life was.
Cry if you must. It is ok to release a few tears if you need to.
Autumn truly is a wonderful season that you can use as your grief recovery season.
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